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Moaning Mondays. The day after the two days of the week we look forward to the most. Alarm clocks buzz, you groan and roll over to press the snooze button. An entire five days until you are free to enjoy life for a mere two. Then it’s groundhog day all over again. Considering the official week is counted as seven days, to only enjoy two of them really is quite pitiful. You need to make it work for you. Not enjoying your day? Change it. It really is as simple as that. Although, thanks to the English language and the multiple words that have multiple meanings we can change what we mean by using the same words. What if you looked at “Moanday” in a whole new light? After all, we all love to experience multiples of the good things in life…

Comparatively a good job is on par with good sex, metaphorically speaking. For those of you screaming, “No it is not!” at the screen give me a moment to explain. It will make sense. Actions speak louder than words, the act of the bedroom and work place are indeed in themselves very different. Being found with Bob from I.T between your legs when he was meant to be fixing the computer probably isn’t what I would suggest unless you are desperate to lose your job. Word play however is an entirely different ball game. In every negative you can find a positive. This is what will transform your week and make all seven days just as enjoyable as each other. Try me.

OK, so, here we go. Monday morning. Alarm buzzes. You groan. Except this time change the groan from one of unhappiness to that of pleasure. Change your alarm to a vibrator. Get your other half to wake you up with his tongue rolling lightly over your eagerly waiting clitoris, feel your body groan in a way it never does on a Monday morning. Let him lift your hips as his hands slide from teasing your lips, over your breasts and down to feel how wet you are for him. Then let him in and feel that groan change to a moan. Guaranteed to brighten your morning and change the entire definition of Moanday Monday. Try being unhappy after an orgasm. If you succeed let me know.

Monday sucks. Tuesday sucks. So on, so on. Of course they do when you train your mind to wake up with such ideas. What do you do? Change it. Everyday can suck but why not make it suck with a deeper meaning. I think you know what I mean. Your man can help you out so help him out. Off goes the 6.30 am rise and shine so instead of hitting the snooze roll over and feel him next to you. Kiss his neck and touch his body. First thing in the morning your senses are super sensitive so make sure you take in how much he is enjoying you. Lightly sweep your hand over his chest following your trail with kisses, letting him know where you’re heading. Run your tongue over his balls, wrap your hand around his hard cock and take him into your throat slightly deeper each time you go in. Looks like it’s not the weekdays that suck now, it’s you. Not so bad is it.

As for the classic “Work is shit” then go to the toilet before work. Wasting your time and days by thinking negatively before you even arrive is already setting you up for a bad day. Look at the alternative side of meanings. If your sex life is as bad as your working life then I suggest a thorough re-think of your career and relationship choice. I can’t help with a double negative. A dry career is on par with a dry vagina. Boring, useless and quite frankly needs a new position to get the motivation back up and running.

Kick- start the fun back into your life. Work sucks. Sex involves sucking. You develop by changing positions. Have a moan on a Monday just moan for the right reasons. For every boring email you send have a saucy text message ready so you have a reply to look forward to. It’s the outlook you have on each day that defines how it wants to play. If your boss pisses you off imagine wacking him over the head with a frying pan. If not have an issue of loaded and a box off tissues and tell him to go and have a wank and then try talking to you again as a person of importance.

Treat work just like sex. The more you put in the more you can moan.

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