The Perfect Girlfriend

The Perfect GirlfriendModern day relationships for women are tragically difficult to keep up with. Mens standards are rising by the second and we need to know what men really need to be happy, for us to make them happy. How?

You are reading this because you want to be a perfect girlfriend and my newly researched advice will make you just that. Rule one is you need to stop being so selfish. Here’s how to become the perfect girlfriend:

  • Dinner? Simply bend over so you’re on all fours, take your panties off and place a family size pizza on your back along with the remote control so he can watch the football, stuff his face and use your back as a table while he doggies you.
  • If you’re on a new diet, offer to give him blow-jobs for breakfast, dinner and lunch as this is a fantastic source of protein.
  • When he’s gotta go he’s gotta go. Don’t shout at his badly timed bowel movements. Simply get out of your luxurious bubble bath, leave your glass of wine on the side and the scented candles burning and leave the room for him to do his business.
  • When reverse parking into that space that could easily fit a car twice your size, he knows what he is talking about. The best advice is to listen as he tells you how terribly wrong you’re parking this car and to smile and nod empathetically. He knows best.
  • You are both out socially and you spot him, eyes glued to a female not too far away. She is mildly responding the flirtatious eye-catching game. Rather than confronting him about why he is looking at another woman in your presence, accept that this is OK and never respond by flirting with another man. You may never flirt with another man in his presence you don’t want to upset him and dent his pride.
  • Becoming ill takes it out of the best of us, even more so it seems within testosterone fueled bodies. He will never moan for the sake of attention or blow his cold/flu out of proportion so it is out of the question to tell the poor man to get over it. The best thing you can do is tuck him in bed, prop up his pillows and give him two teaspoons of Calpol telling him it will all be OK in the morning before kissing his forehead and saying goodnight.
  • First impressions are of paramount importance. Each morning set your alarm an hour early to quietly slip out of bed, shower, brush your teeth and apply natural looking make-up so he thinks you’re always beautifully perfect.
  • He stares at page 3 models every time you buy him The Sun newspaper because he asked you too and of course you’ll do anything for him. Book an appointment with a plastic surgeon for a breast implant. He will love you for it and never look at page 3 again.
  • A real women understands that men and women’s brains are wired very differently. Hand in hand with this superior knowledge it is best to be a domestic goddess and cater to all household needs with a smile on your face. If you’re happy he’s happy.
  • Lastly, and most importantly never cause or start an argument. Even more importantly if he is the cause just admit you were wrong. No man likes a moaning Minnie.

Respect your relationship, give everything you have to give and you will be fulfilled in so many ways you can’t possibly imagine. Make a man happy. More than that, make your man happy. All he really needs is to know you care, and by taking my advice I promise you he will never look at another woman again.

Copyright © 2014 The Bella Effect


  1. Hi Bella,

    I’m the admin at and was wondering if you’d be willing to write a guest post for us.

    We’re a sex/relationship advice site with the philosophy “Fun love and good sex are important contributors to happy and successful relationships.”

    I’m hoping now that you are in what might turn out to be a long term relationship (I’m guessing, from what you are writing about this new guy), you might have some sex tips you’d be willing to share in a guest post.

    Below every article published we show the authors bio and link back to their website.

    To submit an article just visit the site, register then “Add new article”.

    If you’ve any questions, email me –

    I hope to hear from you soon.

    Andrew Brighton

    p.s. Please don’t publish this comment. I was just using the comment form as a way to get in touch and don’t want my email sitting there for spammers to find. Thanks!

    • Hi Andrew,

      You mentioned guest posting for your site but I was swept up with other events and never had the time to do so. Are you still looking for for writers?



  2. Hi Bella,

    I gave up on the site for a while, but I’m bringing it back. Starting fresh. This time, everything is on wordpress.

    Feel free to write a post, I’ll gladly put it up with a link back to your site at the bottom of the post.


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