What the Eyes Don’t See, The Heart Doesn’t Feel

What the eyes don't see the heart doesn't feelOh dear readers I am expressing a sincere apology about the lack of updates going on with, well, me and my thoughts. The non-existent posts about sex, the new boyfriend I have that you know absolutely nothing about except the fact he is a winner in the bedroom and my addiction to talk openly and honestly about any subject involving intercourse, weight and general life dilemmas. So here I am, back again with a new subject all about the raw, basic instinct of human nature and my open and out there answer as to why we cheat on our other missing piece of the puzzle we once so fondly admired.

Fake Orgasms

That earth shattering orgasm that once shook your body like a Tsunami has now turned into a ripple on the pond in the back garden. Hello? Sex is a major part of a relationship and if the clit ‘aint hit you can start saying goodbye to any sexual returns. I’m not giving myself jaw ache for an hour while I wait for my mouth to flood with salt and kick in with the gag reflexes. This is just one instance of course. The juices stop flowing and so does your passion for each other. Time to look elsewhere to have your fanny flicked.

Thrill seekers.

We all know about the man story. The one that says it’s OK for them to penetrate as many vaginas in their lifetimes as possible because their brains are wired that way as a survival technique. In their defence this is a fantastic little story to pull out of the bag. All that Cave man bullshit blah blah blah. Except cave men didn’t lie they just openly poked who they wanted, grunted and went off to eat dinner. The thing is, some men (even women) have a thrill seeker streak that is prominent at the best of times. I believe it’s called having your cake and eating it. Why not? Unfortunately some highly charged males just can’t help themselves, relationship or no relationship. This is really true when he states “It’s not you, it’s me” because it really is him. That’s how uncomplicated it is. It’s sex for sex’s sake. The thrill of a new ride and doing what shouldn’t morally be done. He wants to be with you emotionally but physically the little man doesn’t understand “Sit.”

Sexual Chemistry.

Something we all know about and have acted upon at least once. The surge of pheromones and sexual desires when you catch the eye of someone you undress with your eyes and imagine sitting on his hard cock while he plays with your body and gets deeper, you get wetter he moans and pulls your hair as you scream out in delight and…Oh shit did that really just happen? Temptation gave way. A single moment of pure lust swept over you as you put your other half out of your mind as you rock and roll on this hunk of a man. Was it worth it? Doesn’t matter now it happened. Sexual chemistry happens. This is a tricky one as you face your own decision to give in or walk away. Some remain faithful, others bury the secret. You either smile and get your rabbit out, or commit the sin.

I feel unattractive.

Your relationship has become comfortable, trustworthy and caring. With that comes the dreaded feeling of no longer being attractive. Is he used to me? Does he find looking at my body a bit unexciting since he’s seen it so many times? He doesn’t come onto me as much as when we first dated…etc. Reality check here is that this does happen. I’m not saying he doesn’t fancy you or find you attractive, he wouldn’t stay if he didn’t (unless he’s just a bit of a wanker) but as the saying goes – “Variety is the spice of life.” He will find other women attractive, this will have nothing to do with your weight, chest size or even your ass. It’s purely a visual for a different view. This is life. The difference is men will do it purely for the sex whereas women do it to feel sexy, attractive and confirm they are a damn good shag.

Awkward emotions.

If you have found your Soul mate then a massive round of applause to you. There are a hell of a bunch of people in the world. They say there are roughly ten people out there who would ideally be “The one” as it goes. So what happens when you decide you are happy with the guy you will spend the rest of your life having sex with? You get married? Engaged? Get a puppy? Whatever you do you are sure this is what you want. Until the possibility of bumping into one of the ten you are compatible with. Vice versa too, your partner could meet another and this could be more than just sex (bastard.) This could be a real fucking nightmare. Emotional cheating. They may not even have a sexual affair at first, but one thing you can’t control are emotions and I am afraid to say if it’s going to happen it’s going to happen. No amount of screaming, plate smashing or stalking her Facebook will make his feelings change. It won’t always start as sex, but this form of infidelity is much more than just a physical response.

…Because I can.

This one needs no explaining. A few mates out drinking, a group of women with cleavage on show are standing by the bar, they get talking, one has a hotel room, it’s a no strings night of drunken sex and out of the area so no chance you’ll ever find out. Come on, guys can’t look at a pair of tits without getting a hard on. You either trust or you wonder. There’s no proof to this one unless the soppy git feels bad and admits it was ‘just a mistake I love you.’ Yeah, yeah.

Why do men and women cheat? The answer is there is no answer. Men and women have sex. That’s what they were made for. We lust after one another and we like to experience the different sensations that a different partner brings. Some will have pencil dicks and some will be hung like a horse but it’s all part of the experience. We cheat because we want sex with someone who is different to what we’ve had or have. I personally have never cheated, I am a fussy one when it comes to cock and I have to really like the guy to open my love flaps to him and only him.

Starbucks is about to close now, and my coffee is cold. No matter how strong or weak your relationship is, cheating is up to you. You draw that line.

Copyright © 2013 The Bella Effect


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