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When you look in the mirror and dislike what you see, what makes that vision? The reflection or your mind. What reflects back is indeed an image of yourself, but how you view that image is all down to the mind set that you are in. You may see a beautiful face staring back, a great figure and even the most perfect form of you. Confidence. On the other hand you may see you with a little bit of weight to lose around the waist, could do with slightly bigger/smaller boobs and your nose is slightly off angle but all in all you’re not too shabby and can fix up quite well. For a few of us, the mirror is our worst enemy. Something we avoid at all costs because it spits the truth back at us. Only the “truth” is a twisted image of yourself that your mind creates and works on each and every time you focus on physically looking at imperfections. The imperfections exist only in your mind, so why when you stand in front of that mirror does it scream out abuse and mock what you try so desperately try to make perfect day in and day out? 

It makes each day quite difficult when you have this constant pressure from an inner voice to be perfect. So you want to wear that pretty summer dress? Well, you can’t because your legs are half an inch too big and everyone will notice. In all seriousness no one would notice or even think anything less than the fact you look fabulous. Just you. That half an inch in your eyes is far more than just that. A whole wave of panic takes over as you see rolls of fat, cellulite and awful pale skin that has to be trapped in a pair of jeans so no one else can see this monstrosity. Again, this is that demon in your head morphing you into an object you’re not. Fit in a size 8, average height, BMI is spot on people think it’s crazy. Of course they do. Thing is, what you see in that mirror is far bigger than anyone can imagine and they just cannot understand how it feels to be trapped in this body. More appropriately, to be trapped in this frame of mind. 

We all know what our idea of perfect within ourselves is and to maintain this is a perception of your self image. I know for a fact not one single person can look in that mirror every day and say “I am perfect” because we all have those days where we wish we looked like this or like that or like her in that magazine and off the television. This is normal to feel inadequate and comparative. In moderation. Understanding you are how you are and accepting what you are is an amazing gift. You then get back up, dress to impress and carry on spreading that confidence. Needing to lose weight is something I would guess 90% of us battle with to different extremes. The healthiest of us work towards this goal taking small steps to gain that bit more confidence but never stops us living. For the rest of us the demons will never give up and scratch away at every last bit of strength we had to conquer them. 

In all honestly it is a very hard issue to address, there are many different difficulties we face when it comes down to our bodies. Some starve, some make themselves sick, whilst others obsess. I want to talk about obsessing and how it warps your mind so much you feel you just can’t step out of the house, you don’t dare allow a man to see you naked and not fitting in a size 8 leads to a stint of ridiculous exercising and crash dieting. For someone of a healthy state of mind, seeing a thin woman upset because she can pinch a bit of skin is weird. You know what it’s just bonkers. A state of mind is exactly what this is about, so to have to face yourself everyday looking at the face you wish was prettier, picking the grey hairs out that most probably don’t exist and willing the fat that’s covering your bones to just go away is one of the toughest feelings to deal with. It takes over your life, ruins your self esteem and drags you down to hell. Literally. 

Friends and family say it’s just in your mind and in actual fact you look lovely, thin and extremely beautiful. You never believe them. I think there are too many women out there who won’t live their life due to worrying they aren’t perfect enough. It’s a subject rarely spoken about because who wants to be seen as an attention seeker? Who wants people to think they are Little Miss Deluded? No one. So we keep it bottled up and let the tears out when we look in that mirror. Not everyone likes to talk, just as some people have to for the sake of their own sanity. I just think it’s a really sad issue and a very isolated life to be living. I know someone personally who goes through this. I don’t want anyone else to suffer when you can get help and talk to someone. 

You should be able to keep your chin up, smile your beautiful smile and enjoy living in your body. Focus on the assets you have that stand out a million miles. Don’t say you don’t have any because you do. Look closely. There is no one like you. Straight away you jump on this a bad thing because no one in the world looks as bad as you do. Turn that around, look in the mirror and realise that no one is even half as uniquely beautiful as you are. 

 

Copyright © 2013 The Bella Effect

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