Please Yourself Madame

MadameI’m quite an open person. By that I mean I say what’s on my mind and find the filthiest pun in most subjects. No idea why, it just happens this way. Some frown upon this, some laugh and some just cringe. The thing is, this is me. It’s how I am. My words are not always confirmed by actions, nor are they always entirely true. Each of us are wired to laugh at different things. Sense of humour fails are sometimes wins to others. Depends what floats your boat. So, who do you try and please? The cringers, the frowners, or the laughers? The simple answer: Please yourself. Not everyone will love you, no matter how hard you try. So why bother?

Twitter is a prime example to hit off this “I am me so deal with it” subject. For any of you that use the platform, you will understand many different types of personalities and characters stand upon it. You have the ‘Play-safes’ you know, the ones that tweet simplistic things such as “ I am very happy today” or “ I can’t wait for Friday.” You tend to find these sorts never jump on the train when it pulls in, they are just to worried it might be the wrong one. The next bunch are the “Inbetweeners” the ones that, when they are feeling confident might just pop a cheeky little tweet in that’s outside their usual boundaries, for example “I ate a piece of fudge from the pick n mix and didn’t pay for it” you know the shockers. They tend to jump on the train at the last minute before it pulls off. Lastly, you have the “Past Borderline” tweeters. We get on any train without really caring where it’s going. This is the bracket I fall into. Admittedly, there are some lines which I know I shouldn’t write. Yet I still do. I can’t help it. I love sparking a reaction. In fact, I love the unexpected gasps of “I can’t believe she tweeted that!” I don’t do myself justice, I am fully aware. Some expressions are just damn right inexcusable for a lady to be seen using.  I feel an appropriately inappropriate example would be “I hate men so I shall lady wank tonight.” Yes, I say all sorts, not because I actually “Lady wank” but because I find it funny. You will always get the crowd that take everything literally and really believe you do every last thing you Tweet. No. Idiots. It’s called a joke. Most people can tell by the context it’s written that it is no more than a cheeky, very cheeky remark passed. Personally, if you don’t like it, don’t read it. That’s your choice.

My gay best friend is my second example. I was relatively well spoken until we met 5 years ago. My choice of language and sense of humour has progressively gone from feminine to just out and out appalling. I love it, I can’t lie. Meeting him was like finding my twin brother. My evil twin bother. Rude innuendos and explicit remarks are just second nature to us. Facebook updates will be left with comments involving the words ‘Fanny,’ ‘Wank,’ and anything else that we can think of that is, well, just not standard English language. Our greetings to each other normally consist of “What are you doing?” with the other replying “Just having a cheeky finger.” It’s just normal conversation. The thing is, this carries on over to my everyday life. I say things without meaning to just for the pure fact I am so used to joking about it. I mean, I talk about my boobies, lady time and sweaty fanny after I train and I wonder why I get strange men sending me private messages via Twitter thinking they have a chance. No. This is just how I am, I am not advertising for a sexual partner through the means of social networking, this is just my personality and character. I know it’s sometimes past borderline but hey, like it or lump it.

Basically, we are all unique in our characteristics. You will never, ever be able to please everyone. You will either be too boring, too forward, too rude and arrogant, too plain Jane or just not good enough. Screw those people. You win some you lose some. Please yourself and you will find you please many others. Then when you do, you will find you are funny, charismatic, entertaining and alluring. Then what will it matter what anyone else thinks. We all draw the line somewhere, some sooner than others but that’s the beauty in being who you are. I guess what I am saying is if anything I say offends you, feel free to jog on (as they say nowadays) and find someone who talks about mortgages and pensions.

Copyright © 2013 The Bella Effect



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