That little word called Love

bella effect loveThis was never intended for posting on this blog; Don’t take it too seriously and I apologise for any cringe moments you may stumble upon. Part fiction part truth…

Let me tell you about my first love…A past memory that existed so perfectly until the bitter end. A Romance that happened through breaking boundaries, ripping emotions to pieces and taking a risk. After all is that not what love is? Taking a risk and knowing this is what they were talking about, the feeling no one can ever possibly describe, it’s meaning far to deep to express with any words. Love was a word I never believed in. I always believed it was a word so over-used it was meaningless. One day I would feel the impact of this meaningless word and it would change my world. No grass would ever be greener, nothing would be any more beautiful than the vision I was seeing for the first time. Helpless in my very own story I remember how my first love was not the way I ever imagined it should be. A meeting that should have been avoided led me to the alleyways that love leads us to and it broke my heart. Although mended now, here’s my fairytale…

We met through circumstances that should never have been. That one night changed who I was. As cliche as this could be, he took my breath away. Tall, dark and handsome my whole body was curious and on edge about the effect this man was having on me. I was powerless to control the flooding electricity and extreme powers of lust that charged from my body to his. An unspoken vow from the moment our eyes met. A deeper promise that touched both of us that very night and remained binding us for the next two years. Our love should never had had a chance, so we took the chance we should never have had.

The first few months of our romance was a blurred, lustful and passionate encounter. One I will never forget. If asked to define the word perfection this would have been the answer. Through my eyes the world was shut out and the only real life that existed was living in that little town house together, day and night wrapped up in our own novel with every breath leaving a word to add to the story. Truly having never felt this way I was swept away into the madness, each step leading the way down that alley which gradually became darker and more intense with every step. A one way path in which I had taken one too many footsteps in order to turn back. The further we walked, the dimmer the lights became and the harder it was to see what we were walking into…

Sweet nothings eventually ran their course, words that once sounded comforting now verged on the line of annoyance. Arguments progressed, jealousy proceeded to cut through us like freshly sharpened knives. I will not mention each personal detail, but just outline the way we changed as we spent our time together and as each moment passed the direction in which our lives were heading could not have been further apart. I walked one path and he walked another. To agree on any decision was to cause debate. Although we spent most of our time further on in the relationship holding these debates and endless arguments that caused uproar, we still remained together. It was impossible to break the ropes that held us captive to one another.

Two years passed and the ropes that bound us gradually started tearing away as our emotions faded and turned into whispers that lingered in the wind, returning now and then to remind me of past memories that we had so happily shared. Regret never showed up. Throughout this time I was always in love, imperfections were the base for perfection and this is what I realised: Perfect is only the world you choose to create for yourself in which you’re happy. Nothing will ever be more perfect than what you make of your opportunities.

The whispers have stopped now. The pages of the book sit quietly gathering dust. A story once full of life has been put down to be forgotten. Some stories are best told once. This was one of them.

Copyright © 2012 The Bella Effect


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